I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
