We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
