Quick, to the slutcave!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
