My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
