Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Your penis caused this!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
tell me about the eggs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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