So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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