I heard we made out
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
