i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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