you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
