pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
