I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
