And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
