he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize