I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
