You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Every concussion has its silver lining
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
