I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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