The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
