I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
