So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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