Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
