Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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