Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Enjoy the penises
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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