I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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