maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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