The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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