I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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