i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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