I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
