11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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