I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
