its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
