dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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