This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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