so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
