I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
