I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
