I want to have your abortion
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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