Soap is not a condiment
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
