Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
