Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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