What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
