I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
