what day is it and did you see me today?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
