I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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