oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You made out with two different species that night
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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