Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
