If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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