she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
