I bet he comes in French.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
