my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
