no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
