where am i from again
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
