Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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