Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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