Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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