Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
