I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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