I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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