just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
