apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
