I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
