...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
