the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Everything about him screamed your future.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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